- A sexless marriage is usually defined as one where a couple has sex 10 times or fewer in a year.
- Studies estimate that 10% to 20% of couples go through long periods of little or no sexual activity.
- Common causes include poor communication, stress, medical conditions, age and infidelity.
- Marriage counsellors, sex therapists or relationship coaches can help identify the root cause.
A sexless marriage is more common than many people realise. Studies estimate that 10% to 20% of couples go through long periods of little or no sexual activity.
A sexless marriage does not necessarily mean the relationship is over. This page looks at the root causes and offers some practical advice.
What is a sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage is usually defined as one where a couple has sex 10 times or fewer in a year, and many marriages end in divorce because of it.
Sexual intimacy is an important part of any romantic relationship, and without it a relationship can suffer serious emotional distress and strain.
Please note
- The definition of a sexless marriage can differ from couple to couple, and what counts as a “normal” level of sexual activity is affected by factors such as age, health and cultural background.
Some couples may be content with less sex, or may put other forms of intimacy above sexual activity.
In many cases, however, a lack of sexual intimacy leads to dissatisfaction and frustration, and eventually to a breakdown of the relationship.
Can a lack of sexual intimacy break down a relationship?
Feel free to check your situation with us.
Common causes of a sexless marriage in Hong Kong
Many different factors can lead to a sexless marriage. Some of the most common causes include:
- Poor communication: couples who find it hard to talk about their desires, needs and worries are more likely to have less sex over time.
- Stress affecting sex life: stress is a common killer of desire. Couples dealing with high levels of stress from work, family or money problems may find their desire falls as a result.
- Medical conditions: certain medical conditions, such as chronic pain, hormonal imbalances or medication side effects, can interfere with desire or sexual function.
- Age: as people get older, their desire may fall naturally.
- Infidelity: unfaithfulness can seriously damage trust in the relationship, which eventually reduces sexual activity.
Getting older does not mean a satisfying sex life is impossible. Many older couples go on to enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships.
Communication is key in any relationship, and this is especially true of sexual intimacy.
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- How social media and technology can become a catalyst for divorce in Hong Kong
Not seeking professional help: marriage counselling and resources in Hong Kong
A couple may be unable to resolve by themselves the root problems behind a sexless marriage. In these cases, it is advisable to seek professional help such as marriage counselling.
Marriage counsellors, sex therapists or relationship coaches can give professional guidance to help couples deal with the complex emotions and problems around a sexless marriage.
These professionals can help identify the root causes and develop strategies to overcome them.
In Hong Kong, couples looking for professional help can use many resources:
| Services offered | |
|---|---|
| Family Planning Association of Hong Kong | Counselling for couples and individuals with sexual difficulties, as well as relationship and marriage counselling |
| Hong Kong Association of Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists | Sex therapy and counselling services for individuals and couples |
Is a sexless marriage a warning sign of divorce?
Get in touch, and a dedicated consultant will first understand your situation.
Dealing with a sexless marriage takes patience and understanding
When dealing with a sexless marriage, it is important to be patient and understanding.
Changes in desire and behaviour do not happen overnight, and it may take time to work through the root problems.
Please note
- It is equally important to avoid blaming or shaming your partner for lacking desire.
Instead, focus on finding solutions that work for both partners and raise satisfaction on both sides.
Sexless marriage: summary and more divorce tips
A sexless marriage can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience, but it is not an insurmountable problem.
Couples can work together on a sexless marriage in these ways, and restore intimacy and satisfaction:
- Communicate openly with your partner
- Explore new ways of being intimate
- Put self-care first
- Seek professional help
- Stay patient and understanding
More tips on the divorce procedure:
- How do I apply for a divorce?
- Divorce mediation in Hong Kong: the process and its benefits
- Why hire a solicitor for your divorce: the benefits and why it matters
Want to know more about the divorce procedure?
If in doubt, feel free to contact our dedicated consultants.
