- Hong Kong has no separate “remarriage registration” procedure. Remarrying after a divorce is the same as marrying anew and is done under the Marriage Ordinance (Cap. 181).
- Before remarrying, make sure the core problem behind the divorce has truly been resolved, and that both of you really want to remarry.
- Property orders made at the earlier divorce are not cancelled automatically by remarriage. You will need to deal with your finances separately.
- Where there has been domestic violence, where your ex-spouse already has a new relationship, or where one side has clearly said no, we strongly advise against remarrying.
Divorce is not always the end. Some couples see how much they mean to each other after parting and choose to remarry, but successful cases are usually built on deep reflection and real change on both sides.
This article looks at the chances of remarriage after divorce, the legal steps and the documents you need, from three angles: the data, the psychology and the law.
How likely is remarriage after divorce, really?
Very few people remarry the same ex-spouse after a divorce, and Hong Kong has no official “remarriage rate” statistics.
According to the Hong Kong Census and Statistics Department, the number of divorce decrees granted in Hong Kong each year has stayed at around 16,000 to 21,000 for the past ten years.
- Research from the United States suggests that only about 6% of divorced couples eventually remarry each other, and most of them decide within three years of the divorce.
- Data from the Mainland’s Ministry of Civil Affairs shows remarriage registrations have risen in recent years, but the share is still low against the total number of divorces each year.
- In an informal online survey asking whether people had got back together a month after a breakup, 84% of respondents said “no”.
If the chance of reconciling after a breakup is this low, remarrying after a divorce is harder still, because divorce brings legal procedure, dividing property and arrangements for the children.
Why do most people not remarry after divorce?
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Divorce is long and draining
In Hong Kong, even when both sides agree to divorce, going from petition to decree absolute takes a few months at the very least, and by then both of you have usually begun to adjust to living apart.
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The deeper problems do not go away
The reasons for the divorce are rarely a sudden impulse. Years of resentment, broken trust and basic differences in values do not vanish because you miss someone for a while.
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Your lives start to go different ways
One of you moves to a new home, one starts a new relationship, one makes progress in their career. The resistance to coming back together becomes very strong.
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Pride and dignity
Divorcing already takes great courage, and going “back” to the same person is a step many people cannot get past emotionally.
How likely is it that you and your ex-spouse will remarry?
Feel free to check your situation with us.
6 situations where remarriage after divorce is possible
Remarriage after divorce is unlikely, but not impossible. Drawing on people’s experiences and research on relationships, getting back together is more likely in the following six situations.
| Key feature | Chance of remarriage | Key condition | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Impulsive divorce | Divorced in a moment of emotion, with no issue of principle involved | Higher | Once calm, you both still have feelings for each other |
| Bad habit changed | A bad habit led to the divorce and has since been fully corrected | Medium | The other side has not completely given up |
| Fault and remorse | Misconduct such as an affair, and the one at fault is truly sorry | Medium to low | The hurt spouse can forgive and rebuild trust |
| Feelings never ended | After the divorce you still have feelings and find it hard to let go | Medium | It is real love, not just habit or loneliness |
| Outside conflict removed | Divorced over conflict with in-laws or family, and the conflict has been resolved | Higher | The conflict is truly gone, not just held down for now |
| Meeting again after years | You meet again by chance many years after the divorce | Depends on chance | Neither of you has remarried, or you are both single again |
Please note
- These cases leave out couples who agree beforehand on a “sham divorce”. If anyone asks you, for any reason, to “divorce for a while and remarry later”, be very careful, because a “sham divorce” often turns real.
- In one case a wife followed her husband’s plan and went through a “sham divorce”. He then married someone else straight away, and she only found out she had been deceived afterwards.
An impulsive divorce, regretted once calm
This is common among young couples. One spouse feels the other changed after the wedding, asks for a divorce in anger after repeated arguments, and only realises after parting that they acted too impulsively.
Remarriage after an impulsive divorce is relatively more likely to succeed, because there is no deep, irreparable break between the two of you and the feelings are still there.
If you remarry only because you cannot bear to part, and nothing changes in the way you communicate, the same problems will almost certainly come back.
One spouse drops a bad habit and wins back trust
Typical examples include gambling, heavy drinking, or being so absorbed in mahjong or games that the family is ignored. These behaviours are not always malicious, but they do enormous damage to a marriage.
If the other side sees that the change is real and lasting, and still has feelings, remarriage after divorce is possible. But even if you have changed, they may not come back.
Please note
- After the divorce, the other side may already have started a new relationship, and time will not wait for you.
- Once you have let the other side down completely, rebuilding trust is extremely hard. The best approach is prevention: do not pick up bad habits in the first place.
Divorce over an affair, the spouse at fault is truly sorry and the other is willing to forgive
An extramarital affair is one of the most common triggers for divorce, and some figures suggest more than half of divorce cases involve infidelity.
After the divorce, if the spouse at fault shows genuine remorse and real change in behaviour, and the hurt spouse gradually lets go of the pain, there is a faint chance of remarriage.
Still in love after the divorce and unable to let go
- Some divorces are caused by real-life pressures such as work stress, money trouble and constant friction over daily habits. The feelings do not disappear after the divorce, and both of you still miss each other very much.
- You need to be especially careful to ask whether you miss this person, or just the feeling of “having someone with you”. Loneliness and love are two different things.
- If you remarry only out of loneliness, without facing the real problems that crushed the marriage, the same difficulties will come back after the remarriage.
Divorce caused by outside family conflict, later resolved
- Tension between a wife and her mother-in-law, between sisters-in-law, or too much interference from both families of origin is a sore point for many Hong Kong families. With limited living space in Hong Kong, family conflict hits a small household especially directly.
- When the conflict is truly resolved, for example by living apart or the family finding a new way of getting along, the chance of remarriage after divorce is fairly high.
Meeting again after many years
Some people live separate lives for seven or eight years, or even more than ten, then meet again at some point in life and get back together. This kind of remarriage is not very “workable” as a plan, and depends largely on chance.
But many of these cases have a subtle factor behind them. For example, one spouse was at a low point in their career at the time, and years later, with the pressure eased, the conditions for a fresh start were there when they met again.
5 things to think through before remarrying after divorce
Before you decide to remarry after a divorce, there are five key questions to think about seriously. Remarriage is not just “mending a broken mirror”. It takes more care and courage than the first marriage.
Has the core problem behind the divorce been solved?
Missing someone and finding it hard to let go can make you romanticise the old marriage. Before remarrying, ask yourself whether the core problem that led to the divorce has really been solved:
- Affair
- Domestic violence
- Long-standing communication problems
- Basic differences in values
If your answer is “more or less” or “it should get better”, we suggest you do not rush.
The gap between “more or less” and “truly solved” may be exactly the distance to a second divorce after you remarry.
Do you both want to remarry?
Remarriage after divorce must rest on a shared wish. If your ex-spouse has been swayed only by pity, by saving face or by being pestered again and again, the remarriage has a very fragile foundation.
If you keep having to “persuade” the other side to remarry, that alone may show the conditions are not ready.
How should you weigh the children?
- “Remarrying for the children” is what many parents think, but a home full of conflict can hurt a child more than the divorce itself.
- If you remarry only to “give the child a complete family”, while the core problems between you are unsolved, the child ends up in a home that looks whole but is full of tension.
- If you have really solved your problems and sincerely want a fresh start, remarrying is no doubt good for the child.
Have your finances and living circumstances changed?
- A divorce usually brings a series of financial changes, such as division of property, living arrangements and even maintenance. Think carefully about what you will do with the assets and property that were divided at the divorce once you remarry.
- If one of you is much better off since the divorce, and the other’s reasons for remarrying may include money, you need to face this honestly. Money should never be the main reason to remarry after a divorce.
Do you really want to remarry, or are you afraid of being alone?
Loneliness after divorce can be very strong, and the thought “maybe I should just go back” comes easily, but it is not a good reason to remarry.
We suggest giving yourself enough time to face life alone and rebuild it. The healthier reason to remarry is that you can be fine on your own and still truly want to be together.
The legal process and formalities of remarriage in Hong Kong
In Hong Kong, “remarriage” is not a separate legal concept. Unlike the Mainland, which has a dedicated “remarriage registration”, remarrying your ex-spouse is the same as marrying again.
Under the Marriage Ordinance (Cap. 181), the basic steps to marry again in Hong Kong (including remarrying an ex-spouse) are:
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Give notice of intended marriage
Both of you must go in person to any Marriage Registry to give the notice.
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Wait for the notice period
The notice is displayed publicly at the registry for at least 15 days.
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Submit the required documents
As you are both divorced, you must show the original or a certified copy of the decree absolute, as well as proof of identity.
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Hold the wedding
You can marry at a Marriage Registry, or have a licensed celebrant officiate at another venue.
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Pay the fee
The fees are the same as for any new marriage.
Here is a list of the main documents needed for remarriage:
| Notes | |
|---|---|
| Hong Kong identity card | Both of you must show the original |
| Original or certified copy of the decree absolute | Proves the previous marriage has formally ended |
| Notice of intended marriage | Completed and submitted at the Marriage Registry |
| Affidavit | Declares that you are both currently unmarried |
| Witness details | At least one witness aged 18 or over to attend the wedding |
Please note
- If the decree absolute is lost, you must first apply to the Family Court for a replacement.
- If you are not sure your marital status record has been updated, we suggest you check before starting the remarriage process, to make sure the divorce order has taken effect.
Not sure what documents and steps remarriage needs?
Get in touch, and a dedicated consultant will first understand your situation.
Property and custody of the children after remarriage
At the divorce the court has usually already made orders on dividing the property. These orders are not cancelled or made void by remarriage, and assets or property given to your ex-spouse do not automatically go back to being “jointly owned”.
After you remarry, the law treats you as starting a brand-new marriage, and only assets acquired after the new marriage belong to it.
Please note
- If you want to rearrange your finances after remarriage, for example by putting a property that was transferred at the divorce back into joint names, further legal formalities are needed, and we suggest you consult a solicitor.
- Maintenance ordered at the divorce generally ends automatically on remarriage, but it depends on the terms of the original order. The safest course is to confirm the details with a solicitor before you remarry.
How remarriage affects custody of the children
The court’s orders at the divorce on custody and access arrangements for the children no longer need to be carried out in practice once the parents remarry.
However, the existing custody order does not lapse automatically on remarriage. If you want to formally cancel or change the earlier order, you can apply to the Family Court.
In most cases, if both of you agree and live together after remarrying, the court will not usually object.
Real stories of remarriage after divorce, and when it is not advisable
The two cases below combine the real experiences of several people, to show two very different outcomes of remarriage after divorce.
Case 1: getting back together after an impulsive divorce, and cherishing each other more
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An impulsive divorce
After three years of marriage, the husband was busy at work and often stayed late into the night. After repeated fierce arguments, the wife asked for a divorce.
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Each reflects
Six months after the divorce, the husband realised he had never known how to balance work and family. He admitted his neglect and changed how he worked. The wife also reflected that the way she communicated had been too harsh.
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Remarriage
They remarried ten months after the divorce, and both cherished each other more. The wife later said that without reflection and change on both sides, missing each other alone could never have brought them back.
Case 2: old habits return after remarriage, and a second divorce
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Mahjong breaks up a marriage
The husband was long addicted to mahjong and ignored family matters entirely, and the marriage broke down.
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A promise to change
Less than a year after the divorce, the husband wrote a pledge claiming he had given up mahjong. The wife saw his “change” and could not let go of their two children, so she agreed to remarry.
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Back to old ways
Less than six months after remarrying, he first “played a few rounds with friends” now and then, and later it became three or four times a week. The so-called “change” was only a temporary restraint.
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Divorce again
The second divorce was more painful than the first. The wife had to go through legal procedure and dividing property again, and the children suffered the upheaval of another change in the family.
The decision to remarry after divorce cannot rest on the other side’s “promises”. It has to rest on lasting, steady “change in behaviour”.
We suggest watching for at least six months to a year to confirm the change is real. It is not too late to make the final decision then.
When remarriage after divorce is not advisable
Not every divorce leaves room for remarriage. In the three situations below, we strongly advise you not to consider it, because getting back together may cause even more harm.
Domestic violence or long-term emotional abuse
- If the divorce was due to domestic violence or long-term emotional abuse, please do not remarry.
- After a divorce, an abuser often shows great remorse and tenderness. Psychology calls this the “honeymoon” phase of the “cycle of violence”, and it does not mean real change.
- Research shows that victims who leave an abuser and then go back face a markedly higher risk of more serious violence.
- Please put your own safety and your children’s first. You can call the Social Welfare Department hotline 2343 2255 or the Harmony House 24-hour hotline 2522 0434 for professional support.
Your ex-spouse has started a new life or a new relationship
If your ex-spouse already has a new partner, or has even remarried, forcing your way into their new life will not end well and will only hurt you both more.
Instead of clinging to a relationship that has ended, put your energy into starting your own life afresh.
Pursuing someone who has clearly said no
- If your ex-spouse has clearly said they do not want to remarry, please respect their decision. Bombarding them with messages, pressuring them through the children or family, or following and pestering them can, in serious cases, even amount to a harassment offence.
- Be especially wary of “relationship recovery” services on the market. Many charge thousands or even tens of thousands of Hong Kong dollars and claim to “win your ex back”, but most of their methods have no professional basis. Many even involve fraud or manipulative communication techniques.
- Instead of spending money on these unreliable services, put your resources into personal growth and proper counselling or marriage guidance.
- Does marriage counselling in Hong Kong help?
- How divorce affects children in Hong Kong, and ways to support them
Not sure whether you are in a situation where remarriage is not advisable?
If in doubt, feel free to contact our dedicated consultants.
